Understanding the Gospel
It was fresh in my mind when I posted that something had improved my memorization. Being active, taking a photocopy of the pages I'm memorizing and constant practice. These are all by the flesh but it does work.
Lately my focus on my study is to understand the Gospel. To find answers to the questions I had when I was younger, like why did Jesus prayed with blood on the night before he was crucified if He knew from the beginning that all this will going to happen. Also when he was on the cross why did He say "Father, why have you forsaken me". Some sermons by Paul Washer, reading Psalms, bible study, earnest prayer to the Lord to help me understand...these things leads me to somehow grasp a little, if its the "tip of the ice berg" so to say. To understand that it is not the beating that our Lord feared, it was not the nails or the torture, it was the "Cup of Wrath" that God had given to him to drink on that cross, its the full measure of just punishment to the wickedness and sins of God's people like me to be declared "free" from the torment of Hell which humanity deserved. Honestly, I couldn't sleep lately as I gain a glimpse of understanding about the cross, although human understanding is not enough to understand the gravity of the punishment that our Lord endured, He who is sinless, yet became sin, and thus the Father has to forsake Him and crush him on that moment. No words could explain, I just had to cry and glorify our Lord Jesus Christ for what He has done.
As a result, every text of the bible that I try to memorize had greater impact to me. It was difficult to memorize because my heart is just breaking apart. I admit that in the past, my memorization would be like mechanical at some days, like those tick mark in my calendar that I have to complete. Now its entirely different. I didn't care if I miss the mark of number of verses memorized for that day, so long I won't miss the message behind the text. Every word is alive and has meaning waiting to be discovered. Sometimes I memorize something but the benefits are reaped months later. Even those text that I already memorized in the past, as I recall them they had a deeper meaning and I just can't help but cry and ask... Lord, I glorify you. I am your servant, I am here, my life is yours, guide me, how would you want to use me for your will? My prayer is that your Kingdom come, and your will be done. Amen.
Lately my focus on my study is to understand the Gospel. To find answers to the questions I had when I was younger, like why did Jesus prayed with blood on the night before he was crucified if He knew from the beginning that all this will going to happen. Also when he was on the cross why did He say "Father, why have you forsaken me". Some sermons by Paul Washer, reading Psalms, bible study, earnest prayer to the Lord to help me understand...these things leads me to somehow grasp a little, if its the "tip of the ice berg" so to say. To understand that it is not the beating that our Lord feared, it was not the nails or the torture, it was the "Cup of Wrath" that God had given to him to drink on that cross, its the full measure of just punishment to the wickedness and sins of God's people like me to be declared "free" from the torment of Hell which humanity deserved. Honestly, I couldn't sleep lately as I gain a glimpse of understanding about the cross, although human understanding is not enough to understand the gravity of the punishment that our Lord endured, He who is sinless, yet became sin, and thus the Father has to forsake Him and crush him on that moment. No words could explain, I just had to cry and glorify our Lord Jesus Christ for what He has done.
As a result, every text of the bible that I try to memorize had greater impact to me. It was difficult to memorize because my heart is just breaking apart. I admit that in the past, my memorization would be like mechanical at some days, like those tick mark in my calendar that I have to complete. Now its entirely different. I didn't care if I miss the mark of number of verses memorized for that day, so long I won't miss the message behind the text. Every word is alive and has meaning waiting to be discovered. Sometimes I memorize something but the benefits are reaped months later. Even those text that I already memorized in the past, as I recall them they had a deeper meaning and I just can't help but cry and ask... Lord, I glorify you. I am your servant, I am here, my life is yours, guide me, how would you want to use me for your will? My prayer is that your Kingdom come, and your will be done. Amen.
Comments
Post a Comment