Struggle in TV Watching vs Holding on Precious Words in my Memory
I know that the grace of God covers us and a little watching of TV - it might not affect for most strong Christians out there. I was able to remove my tragic use of Facebook by removing my apps but its different for TV, it is in the living room and we have housemates who loves to watch - of course who doesn't?
I had memorized 'I will not set my eyes on anything worthless, it shall not cling to me, I hate the works of those who fall away' Psalms 101:3, but sometimes its just damn hard to go against the current of the flesh, when I am sitting in the living room with real people and they don't share my enthusiasm in the Word but I can find myself sharing to some of what they want to spend their spare time. So I write it down and see when can I ever let go of this obstacle.
The reason why I am so strict on myself in terms of watching TV is because (well mostly just a waste of time) based on my experience, even just for a short time like 30 minutes or an hour for those shows that really stirs my mind (kiddie shows for my children excluded) - then I would need more time to do my bible memorization. For example if I can memorize 6 verses in 20 minutes, I would need to almost double the time to do the same number of verses. Its because even after watching, it clings in my mind. And if I indulge even more time watching, it becomes difficult to recall those I already memorized. Then my motivation is going down because I could not keep up with my schedule. This is the sure fire enemy of memorizing - being overwhelmed.
Actually, there was a time that for a month (August 2019) I almost slip the new verses memorization process since I could not follow the schedules, and missed some review times. That is when there is a new TV series that captured my interest (Killer Wife), I know right, the title itself isn't something my future self will thank me for watching. It started with a little watching here, little watching there and it accumulates and grows weeds in my heart and eats away the precious words I had diligently planted in my heart, I could sometimes become fearful because the story is a girl was possessed, but actually later we learned she's faking it - far from the things I should set my mind as bible teaches ("whatever is true, just, honorable, pure...think about these things" Phil 4:8).
That is why now I asked myself is it worth it to give in to my flesh watch those TV series? What will I get if I know the story of the best TV series ever made? But the training in godliness is not only helpful in our present life but also for the life to come - for eternity and that includes hiding the words of God in my heart to be ready for every battle. That is why I am listing below like a diary how do I get this out of my system:
26 Sep 2019 - Thursday
This has been my constant weakness, just at the time I thought I am strong enough to control my viewing, I would just sit and waste some of my time on TV and feel bad afterwards. Today I went home and as usual automatically grab the remote to see the recording of our cable TV of my favorite tele-series. There are 5 drama series (Killer Bride, Los Bastardos, Ang Probinsyano, Kadenang Ginto, Nang Ngumiti and Langit) that my housemates are watching, but I try to mitigate watching to 1 or 2 only (KB & KD), 30 minutes each M-F. An hour of wasted time that I feed on to relax myself after a day of hard work at the office, or early morning to fully awake myself.
I notice that when I am on my way to work or during dull times, those I watched clings in my mind rather than the truth I have been diligently hiding in my heart.
I want to be clear that these shows may not be totally 'worthless' in a sense the quality of how it was done, in fact it was alluring, but I meant it has no value or doesn't help in achieving my goals in my walk for the Lord.
27 Sep 2019 - Friday
Today I woke up extra earlier than usual. The temptation is so high, I went out to have walk for some exercise. Then I came back and the huge TV was lurking at me asking to be opened. My baby who still breastfeeds cries and I was letting him feed in the most comfortable sofa in the living room - front of fan and in front of that TV and I still didn't open it. I ate breakfast and the stories of last episode clings in my mind wondering what would happen next... I'm not going to feed this fleshy part of me today, maybe this mild addiction will die soon. May the Lord grant me strength to overcome this, I could not do it alone, I need the power of the living word and Spirit to give me life according to His word and not according to the schemes of the world.
27 Sep 2019 - Evening @8PM
Went home and the TV was on for the news. I was able to resist for almost an hour but there is just nothing to do while breastfeeding my baby. So I felt bad tried to open the recording, but instead of usual 1 hour, I watched both in 30 minutes by hitting the forward button. Somehow I was not interested on the drama in between I was just curious to know the whole story and not enjoying the details. I think this is a good progress, when I myself losing my appetite to watch those which used to tempt me to spend so much time mindlessly. I am quite ashamed that I couldn't remove it altogether but at least I have some progress even how little it can be.
01 Oct 2019 - Night
Argg! I again try to open the TV to see the recordings of recent episodes and the supposed to be 1 hour show I watched in 10 minutes this time by again using forward function. I was curious what is the story about. After that I felt conviction that it is really a waste of my energy, so I google again how to demotivate me in watching worldly shows and this link below captured my reasonings.
02 Oct 2019 Morning
02 Oct 2019 Evening
I am glad to say I able to resist the temptation to watch TV today. I've given a challenge to my two sons (5-year old and 16-year old) to Psalm 23 and I will reward them and they accepted the challenge. I read from this site 'memorize new testament in 5 years' that one way is to find someone to memorize with you. This is quite tough because I did not know anyone who wants to do bible books memorization so I try to 'bribe' my children for whole chapter memorization with rewards so they also do some memorization which is a win-win situation, it would be good for them and will also encourage me to keep up on my own schedule.
03 Oct 2019
I am so glad to report I didn't watched the TV at all and the temptation is no longer there, and I feel more peace. I remember James 4:7 says 'Submit yourself to God, resist the devil and he will flee from you, draw near to God and he will draw near to you'. Maybe the enemy is already tired trying to allure me. Do you know how I replaced the time I use to spend for watching? I use Zumba videos and did it in our house. At least it is proven that exercising is good for memory and does not hinder but helps in my goal.
04 Oct 2019
When I wake up in the morning, I went down for a morning walk for 25 minutes, with Henry (my 2-year old son) on my baby wrap. I did not have any urge to watch TV at all, thanks God!
05 Oct 2019
Today I am so glad I feel that I am really released in this bondage. Book of James said that 'to him who knows the right thing to do and fails to do it, to him it is sin'. So for me this 'planting of the seed of the world in my heart' is a sin, (let each of us be fully convinced in our own minds - this is minor sin and some Christians this is not an issue). In book of John, Jesus said 'those who practice sinning is a slave to sin. Yes I admit I am a slave of this mild addiction to watch TV series, because I don't feel good afterwards watching, and my Lord frees me, I am free indeed! I could consistently follow my memorization, though some old book reviews may delay a little but in next couple of days I could complete it too. I felt more energized and I can do more things that I usually don't have the strength and soberness to do like tidying (I almost delegated everything before to my helper) and especially exercising regularly. If before I will just let the kids use the gadgets (though I am not always successful) I now do not have the guilt to discipline them to be mindful of what they are watching - because I myself is practicing it. I'm liking more the person I am becoming. Thanks be to God, I know I have a long way to go, lot of works still to be done, there are areas that I also pray and work to improve.
I trust the Lord is with me all the way, as his Words abides in me - literally for now, I meant because in a week time I would have memorized the whole Gospel of John - in the strength that God supplies!
07 Oct 2019
Today I created another blog for my answered prayer journal on this link.
13 Oct 2019
I am glad that until now there is no urge for me. Once Christian friend sends me a message that has this verse below, now I haven't tackled memorizing 1 Corinthians (hmmm maybe I should line this up next after Romans). I now try to be really vigilant since I know my weakness. When my housemates are watching in the living room those I also like before, I try as much as possible to go to my room. I don't want to let down my guard again, it is easier to stay out of the temptation than to think you are strong enough to fight it.
1 Corinthians 10:12
Therefore let anyone who thinks that he stands take heed lest he fall.
I had memorized 'I will not set my eyes on anything worthless, it shall not cling to me, I hate the works of those who fall away' Psalms 101:3, but sometimes its just damn hard to go against the current of the flesh, when I am sitting in the living room with real people and they don't share my enthusiasm in the Word but I can find myself sharing to some of what they want to spend their spare time. So I write it down and see when can I ever let go of this obstacle.
The reason why I am so strict on myself in terms of watching TV is because (well mostly just a waste of time) based on my experience, even just for a short time like 30 minutes or an hour for those shows that really stirs my mind (kiddie shows for my children excluded) - then I would need more time to do my bible memorization. For example if I can memorize 6 verses in 20 minutes, I would need to almost double the time to do the same number of verses. Its because even after watching, it clings in my mind. And if I indulge even more time watching, it becomes difficult to recall those I already memorized. Then my motivation is going down because I could not keep up with my schedule. This is the sure fire enemy of memorizing - being overwhelmed.
Actually, there was a time that for a month (August 2019) I almost slip the new verses memorization process since I could not follow the schedules, and missed some review times. That is when there is a new TV series that captured my interest (Killer Wife), I know right, the title itself isn't something my future self will thank me for watching. It started with a little watching here, little watching there and it accumulates and grows weeds in my heart and eats away the precious words I had diligently planted in my heart, I could sometimes become fearful because the story is a girl was possessed, but actually later we learned she's faking it - far from the things I should set my mind as bible teaches ("whatever is true, just, honorable, pure...think about these things" Phil 4:8).
That is why now I asked myself is it worth it to give in to my flesh watch those TV series? What will I get if I know the story of the best TV series ever made? But the training in godliness is not only helpful in our present life but also for the life to come - for eternity and that includes hiding the words of God in my heart to be ready for every battle. That is why I am listing below like a diary how do I get this out of my system:
26 Sep 2019 - Thursday
This has been my constant weakness, just at the time I thought I am strong enough to control my viewing, I would just sit and waste some of my time on TV and feel bad afterwards. Today I went home and as usual automatically grab the remote to see the recording of our cable TV of my favorite tele-series. There are 5 drama series (Killer Bride, Los Bastardos, Ang Probinsyano, Kadenang Ginto, Nang Ngumiti and Langit) that my housemates are watching, but I try to mitigate watching to 1 or 2 only (KB & KD), 30 minutes each M-F. An hour of wasted time that I feed on to relax myself after a day of hard work at the office, or early morning to fully awake myself.
I notice that when I am on my way to work or during dull times, those I watched clings in my mind rather than the truth I have been diligently hiding in my heart.
I want to be clear that these shows may not be totally 'worthless' in a sense the quality of how it was done, in fact it was alluring, but I meant it has no value or doesn't help in achieving my goals in my walk for the Lord.
27 Sep 2019 - Friday
Today I woke up extra earlier than usual. The temptation is so high, I went out to have walk for some exercise. Then I came back and the huge TV was lurking at me asking to be opened. My baby who still breastfeeds cries and I was letting him feed in the most comfortable sofa in the living room - front of fan and in front of that TV and I still didn't open it. I ate breakfast and the stories of last episode clings in my mind wondering what would happen next... I'm not going to feed this fleshy part of me today, maybe this mild addiction will die soon. May the Lord grant me strength to overcome this, I could not do it alone, I need the power of the living word and Spirit to give me life according to His word and not according to the schemes of the world.
27 Sep 2019 - Evening @8PM
Went home and the TV was on for the news. I was able to resist for almost an hour but there is just nothing to do while breastfeeding my baby. So I felt bad tried to open the recording, but instead of usual 1 hour, I watched both in 30 minutes by hitting the forward button. Somehow I was not interested on the drama in between I was just curious to know the whole story and not enjoying the details. I think this is a good progress, when I myself losing my appetite to watch those which used to tempt me to spend so much time mindlessly. I am quite ashamed that I couldn't remove it altogether but at least I have some progress even how little it can be.
01 Oct 2019 - Night
Argg! I again try to open the TV to see the recordings of recent episodes and the supposed to be 1 hour show I watched in 10 minutes this time by again using forward function. I was curious what is the story about. After that I felt conviction that it is really a waste of my energy, so I google again how to demotivate me in watching worldly shows and this link below captured my reasonings.
02 Oct 2019 Morning
I have the whole chapter of 119 printed and inside a plastic covered pages in my bathroom. As I sing below verse, I realized how I really need this to overcome this little battle I am facing. The other verse that I use Psalm 101:3 is "I will not set anything wicked before my eyes" is too familiar and yet I could not do it, but below is seem needing help from the Creator who created me to help me control myself, to turn my eyes on looking at worthless things. This must makes more sense. Looking forward that these next days I will be able to submit to God and resist the temptation to waste my precious time on this TV series.
Psalm 119:37 Turn my eyes from looking at worthless things;
and give me life in your ways
and give me life in your ways
I am glad to say I able to resist the temptation to watch TV today. I've given a challenge to my two sons (5-year old and 16-year old) to Psalm 23 and I will reward them and they accepted the challenge. I read from this site 'memorize new testament in 5 years' that one way is to find someone to memorize with you. This is quite tough because I did not know anyone who wants to do bible books memorization so I try to 'bribe' my children for whole chapter memorization with rewards so they also do some memorization which is a win-win situation, it would be good for them and will also encourage me to keep up on my own schedule.
03 Oct 2019
I am so glad to report I didn't watched the TV at all and the temptation is no longer there, and I feel more peace. I remember James 4:7 says 'Submit yourself to God, resist the devil and he will flee from you, draw near to God and he will draw near to you'. Maybe the enemy is already tired trying to allure me. Do you know how I replaced the time I use to spend for watching? I use Zumba videos and did it in our house. At least it is proven that exercising is good for memory and does not hinder but helps in my goal.
04 Oct 2019
When I wake up in the morning, I went down for a morning walk for 25 minutes, with Henry (my 2-year old son) on my baby wrap. I did not have any urge to watch TV at all, thanks God!
05 Oct 2019
Today I am so glad I feel that I am really released in this bondage. Book of James said that 'to him who knows the right thing to do and fails to do it, to him it is sin'. So for me this 'planting of the seed of the world in my heart' is a sin, (let each of us be fully convinced in our own minds - this is minor sin and some Christians this is not an issue). In book of John, Jesus said 'those who practice sinning is a slave to sin. Yes I admit I am a slave of this mild addiction to watch TV series, because I don't feel good afterwards watching, and my Lord frees me, I am free indeed! I could consistently follow my memorization, though some old book reviews may delay a little but in next couple of days I could complete it too. I felt more energized and I can do more things that I usually don't have the strength and soberness to do like tidying (I almost delegated everything before to my helper) and especially exercising regularly. If before I will just let the kids use the gadgets (though I am not always successful) I now do not have the guilt to discipline them to be mindful of what they are watching - because I myself is practicing it. I'm liking more the person I am becoming. Thanks be to God, I know I have a long way to go, lot of works still to be done, there are areas that I also pray and work to improve.
I trust the Lord is with me all the way, as his Words abides in me - literally for now, I meant because in a week time I would have memorized the whole Gospel of John - in the strength that God supplies!
07 Oct 2019
Today I created another blog for my answered prayer journal on this link.
13 Oct 2019
I am glad that until now there is no urge for me. Once Christian friend sends me a message that has this verse below, now I haven't tackled memorizing 1 Corinthians (hmmm maybe I should line this up next after Romans). I now try to be really vigilant since I know my weakness. When my housemates are watching in the living room those I also like before, I try as much as possible to go to my room. I don't want to let down my guard again, it is easier to stay out of the temptation than to think you are strong enough to fight it.
1 Corinthians 10:12
Therefore let anyone who thinks that he stands take heed lest he fall.
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